“I met my husband through my best friend who saw him working at a pharmacy. She went up to him and told him she had a homegirl he should meet. While he’s handsome and smart, he was nothing like the men I was used to dating. If I had been insistent on finding a reformed street guy, I would’ve never even looked his way. If I had been adamant that I would meet my husband on my own — at a bar or while walking down the street – I would’ve never even gone on our first date. Trying something new is what got me down the aisle.”— Wendy Danner, Atlanta
After being in a relationship Jason*, I decided I needed someone who had a “good job.”
My time with Marcus informed me that having a good job wasn’t enough. My person would need to be fiercely passionate about his career.
But Jason also helped me appreciate a man with humor. And Marcus taught me to love a man who is amazing at planning dates. Sprinkle in liking Nate, dating Mike and being in a situationship with Kevin— and I wound up seeking a sign-compatible partner, deciding I could never again deal with an untidy dude, and wanting a tall, tatted family man with a strong jawline and intense eyes.
What in the Frankenstein-partner-creation was I thinking?!
The more you date, the more you chisel a sculpture of your dream person. Contrast serves a purpose, but when we believe we know exactly who will serve our highest and greatest needs — we miss the other amazing people who show up in our lives.
I realized that instead of focusing on who I wanted, I would become more intentional about what I sought to have.
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This excerpt highlights the importance of being open-minded when it comes to dating and relationships. The author shares their own experiences of having certain criteria for a partner, such as having a good job or being incredibox passionate about their career, but realizing that those things alone weren't enough. They also acknowledge the danger of being too rigid in one's expectations and overlooking potentially great partners who don't fit into those preconceived notions. Instead, the author encourages readers to focus on what they truly seek in a relationship, rather than a specific checklist of traits, and to remain open to unexpected connections and opportunities for growth.
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Real love stories often do not resemble each other. There are many nuances and everyone understands happiness in their own way. I have a married couple among close friends. They are married but often use the dating site for new dates, look at more info. I was surprised when I heard about it for the first time. But I also see that this strategy is quite effective for them.